Top 10 Things Bartenders Won't Tell You

or

Stuff You Need to Know From Behind The Bar

Number 10

If I am out of what you drink and you've have had a few drinks already. I'll just make your drink with the next closest thing. So Seagram's V.O. becomes Seagram's 7 and Absolute become Smirnoff. You won't know the difference...no, you won't.

Number 9

Lemons and Limes are usually a few days old, especially if it's Mon or Tues. Also, just about every bartender and person on the waite staff has touched them. If you get a drink just skip on the fruit. This also goes for the olives, those have probably been sitting around for over a week at a slow bar.

Number 8

You really should think twice about being an annoying drunk or a pretentious asshole while sitting at the bar. Especially to the person who is making your drink and serving the food if you ordered too. Just saying...ok.

Number 7

If a mistake is made and the wrong beer is opened, it gets put on ice until someone orders it. Don't be surprised if you end up drinking a pre opened beer that's been on ice for and hour or so.

Number 6

The smaller or less of a tip you decide to leave me, the less I am inclined to make a nice drink for you or even pay attention to your needs. Bartenders make most of their pay from tips. If you can't pay me for my work I don't see any reason to work for you.

Number 5

Ok, guys, we all know what girls are hanging out at the bar just to scam drinks off of you. Because you're really not as good looking as you think you are. Most of these girls are here every other week or so and they pull it off all the time.

Number 4

Also, ladies, we know which guys are just trying to get you drunk so they can get you home. We also know the last 5 girls he took out of here. So, that cute little line he tossed out at you that seemed so original is worse than a skipping CD.

Number 3

If you order shots chilled, the longer I can leave them on ice the better it is for my bar, since I use less liquor to make them. 8 shots of chilled vodka means I really only have to pour 6 shots in since the ice will melt. You still pay for 8 tho...thanks.

Number 2

Great looking women behind the bar don't want you hitting on them all night (see number 5) unless she is ignoring everyone else at the bar but you. Just leave her a nice tip and be thankful she talked to you. We all know that in the real world there isn't a chance in hell she would be talking to you. As an employee it's her job to be nice to you, don't mistake that for her wanting to jump in bed with you. She doesn't. As interesting as you think you are...you're not.

Number 1

Don't call me "Bub", "Pal", "Ace" or "Buddy" and don't call her "Sweetie", "Babe", "Honey" or "Toots" while waving money at us. As well as whistling, yelling, slamming glasses on the bar or any other such rude and childish behavior. Something like that will put you last on my list to get served. You can call me "Sir" and her "Miss" until you introduce yourself. If you are standing at my bar I know you are there so have a bit of patience.

This is my personal list you may have a few other things to add.

but that's...

Life in New England

Brrr it's cold out!

So here I am today, in New England with a snow storm. Turns out the weather men/women got it a bit wrong tho on how bad it was going to be. There was talk of like 12 to 18 inches and as of now we have about 4. Which is still enough to go out and clean up but no where's near the amount they had predicted. It began to occur to me that being a weather man/woman is one profession where you get to be on television and be completely wrong and not get fired over it. Sweet deal.

But, unlike most people, part of my job is to plow peoples driveways and clean sidewalks. So while out driving around in this bad weather I notice a few things. The first being the amount of people who, to the best of my knowledge, have no business being out when people are trying to actually work and clear the way for the following day. I mean rushing to the store for that loaf of bread or gallon of milk seems to me a bit crazy. To potentially risk your life and the life of another person for something you really don't need is just totally nuts. It's not like the storm is going to keep you in the house for weeks upon weeks. Generally it's just 1 day. You're telling me you can't wait one day for a few things at the store? On top of that, it's not like these people didn't have fair warning that a potentially large storm was coming. The news people have been "Drama-ing it up since Saturday" (that's for another blog...drama-ing, I know it's not a real word). The second thing I notice is the rate that people drive in bad weather. Alot of people and I mean ALOT, drive so fast I almost wish they would wreck that nice SUV they are cursing around in. But I am not wishing bodily harm on them or anyone else. But still, just because you have a huge SUV with 4 wheel drive does not give you the right to drive like a jack ass. Your car cannot stop and better than a regular car and it won't do anything special if you hit a patch of ice. In fact you have worse stopping power than a regular car because of the extra weight it takes to slow your vehicle down. So I wish people would get that into their heads and slow the frick down. We all know that some people just need to learn the hard way and hopefully it's not at my expense or that of another person.

That's it for now. I'm back out into the bad weather to fight the crazies and finish up for the day/night. I got my nice warm jacket, some great music and a nice hot cup of tea in me...let's go!

and that's Life in New England

Geoffrey D

Status Update

I've been pretty busy the last few weeks but I will post a few new things in the coming days. Just want to get a few things off my mind and out of my head. These things include people who post comments on various websites like local news ones or sport webpages. Also, going to touch on the canceled Slayer tour (boo!). Then maybe I will blog a little about false advertising that seems to be happening more and more.

I'm currently reading a book called "Eat this Not that". It's both scary and eye opening to some point. Some of the information I always knew but when you read it you just become more aware. If your curious about the food you eat pick this little gem up.

Not much else happening, it's just cold here but that's Life in New England.

Double Standard?

Ok, so I have a few questions to ask because I’m not sure how I should feel about this situation. I personally have no ill will towards my fellow man or woman for that matter but for the last few years this issue has bothered me. I think it’s a double standard but I’m not quite sure. So, I will attempt to explain what I see and how it makes me feel and then ask the question.

Over the last few years there has been the same commercial that comes on TV around the time of any major holiday. It’s more prevalent during the Christmas and New Year’s time and I am sure many of you have seen it. It’s that same drunk driving commercial. You know the one, the serious voice saying “over the limit under arrest” with the people driving in a car filled with liquid that looks like beer or a martini. Yeah, that one. Now how on, I’m not condoning drunk driving so relax and I have no problem with the message that the commercial is sending. But, do you notice something about the commercial? Like the people they are all pulling over? Maybe now you see it. In this day and age of trying to squash out stereotypes the government goes and puts one on TV and has been running it for several years. Still don’t get it? Let me break it down for you. Every one of the people being arrested is not only white, but also in the same age bracket (38-45) and then on top of that they are each put with their stereotype of drink. So we have the white, beat up Ford driving, scruffy looking, baseball hat wearing guy driving around in a beer filled vehicle. Then we see the over weight, white, sport car driving, shirt and tie guy in his vehicle filled with a martini type of liquid complete with olives. Ok, so you get my point I don’t need to go over the rest but they are just as bad.

I really feel like this is both a racist commercial towards men like me and an attempt to make me a target. It’s to the point where every time I see the commercial I get a bit angry. It’s like profiling the white male race between the ages of 38 to 45. I also can’t believe no one has spoken up about it and that we all just stand around and accept it as fact. I know if the shoe was on the other foot and these commercials featured all women we would be hearing about it. How about these other commercial scenarios? I don’t think they would be acceptable either.

What if there was a commercial put on TV about the drug “crack” and only black people were getting arrested or being chased down the street. You’d see the camera pan over to a police car with a young black male getting slammed on the hood. Then you would hear that serious sounding voice over, “use or sell crack- under arrest.” Then you could have the scene with a bunch of black males dressed up like gangsters standing against a wall in an inner city setting selling crack, then out of nowhere the police pounce on them. The same serious voice would say something like the police are “cracking down” on crack. What if it was a commercial for street racing that featured only Latinos and low rider cars with loud mufflers, tricked out tires and spoilers that are about a mile high off the back of the car? I’d be willing to bet that organizations would be ringing the phones off the hook saying that those commercials are racist or they portray their specific group in a poor light (which would be true). So now maybe you see what I am talking about. I’m not sure if I have communicated the ideas across correctly and I am by no means trying to be racist nor an I making fun of any race or group of people. So on to my questions:

Am I over reacting to this commercial being a stereotype for white males?

Is this a case of a double standard? That being if the shoe was on the other foot it would be a problem for people.

Here is a link to the commercial on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHytr5GocwY

Careful what you ask for

Well since I have this blog I might as well use it for something good. Which of course would be bitching about something that really annoyed me. Isn't that what blogs are for? Complain about things that you have no control over while you sit at your computer steeming over it? Yeah, that's what I was told they are for! Ok but really, I did have a bit of a problem the other day and I feel like venting about it. So here goes.

I have a peice of lawn equipment that has been around for like 20 years. My grandmother bought it for my father and we both use it. It's the tiller for the garden. Well, we have basically abused the shit out of it over the years. It's a bit rusted, the wheels are all bent, the pull chord broke a few times and I tied it together to keep it working. We leave it out in the rain, snow, sleet. Ok so you get the picture. I recently lost my digital camera or I would go outside and take a picture of this baby. This tiller tho has never failed us, it starts every time and runs like a champ. I'm always a firm believer that if something is working great don't go and screw it up.

Four days ago I go out to use this most durable machine (they don't build em' like they use to) and the pull chord finally snaps off completely (grrrrr). Normaly this is not something out of my realm to fix and any other time I would bust out the ol' tool kit and get going. I didn't. I had so many other things to do that I figured I would best be served if I just tossed it on the truck and ran it down to the local hardware store to have them fix it. I don't mind sending local places some business now and again, it's good to keep up relations with these local businesses and it's part of the charm I like about living here in New England.

Now, here I am pulling this (which looks to the hardware guys like a peice of junk and I swear I heard them laugh a little) thing off my truck and I tell the guy can you fix this pull chord and just change the oil and spark plug since it's here. He says to me, "So you want a tune-up." I looked at him and I repeted what I had just said, "I just want the chord fixed and the oil and spark plug changed." He looks back at me and says, "well that's a tune up." I said, "that's fine."

Ok maybe you see where this is going. Maybe this is my fault for not making sure what I was getting, but here is how it ends. I get the call to come pick my machine up. I show up and he tells me it's a $60 bill. I said well that's alot for those few things. He produces a list of what they did; Cleaned Carb, New Filter, New pre-Filter, Changed Oil, New Pull Chord, New Spark Plug. Ok, so I'm no dummy and there are a few things on the list I didn't ask for. Of course I confront the guy about it and he tells me, "You said Tuned Up." and of course I say, "No, you said tune-up, I said oil and spark plug." We go back and forth with who said what and what this and that entails until I finally did what any man in my position would do....I bent over and let this guy screw me. Now I don't often give in to situations like this, but I could see it was going no where and I wasn't gonna get my tiller unless I paid him. I was kinda in a jam there. Sometimes you have to pick your battles and for this one I just had to let it go. Needless to say I will never do business there again.

I know small business like this are having a hard time in this economy. One thing they need to remember is, if you keep screwing over your customers like that you will be without any to screw in the end.

and that my friends is Life in New England
Geoffrey D.

My 10 Ten Hot Women Singers that Rock!

Number 10

Simone Simmons – Dutch born and Lead singer for the band Epica this fiery redhead has one of the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. From classical highs to a single note that ring beauty in your ear, this woman has it all. The new CD “Design Your Universe” shows you exactly why.







Number 9

Annette Olzen – After taking over the lead position in Nightwish, Annette has established herself as a woman with one hell of a powerful voice. Swedish born and singing since she was 8 years of age, on songs like “Amaranth” from Dark Passion Play, you can tell right away she is the real deal. Beautiful eyes and voice, what else can you ask for in a woman who can rock.



Number 8

Sharon del Adel – While most people know her from their popular release of “what have you done now” from the CD “the heart of everything” this 35 year old singer of Within Temptation has been at it since she was 13. To really appreciate her range, check out songs like “Ice Queen” and “Frozen.” Also, in their recent Live DVD she looks absolutely stunning as she enters the stage.

Number 7

Christina Scabbia – This 37 year old Italy born singer of Lucuna Coil is a true vision on stage. With a voice that can go from sultry to powerful in a moment, you can’t deny she is a forced to be reckoned with in the metal world. Check her out on songs like “Heaven’s a Lie” and “Spellbound” you won’t be disappointed.




Number 6


Tarja Turunen – This former front woman of Nightwish truly has the voice of an angle. On the CD “Once” with her former band, songs like Nemo and Wish I had an Angle show what great range she has. Currently working on he own her new CD continues to prove that she belongs among the ranks of the women with great voices.


Number 5


Francine Boucher - All I can say is WOW! A beautiful woman with a powerful voice. This singer and songwriter from the South Carolina “Echoes of Eternity” formed in 2006. Their latest offering “As Shadows Burn” is a fast pace blast of music and melodic singing. You can tell Francine is no newbie on songs like “Twilight Fires” and “Ten of Swords.” Check out their vids and music, it’s great stuff and watching her is not hard on the eyes at all.




Number 4

Maria Brink – Lead for the band “In This Moment” her mix of melodic metalcore and brutal vocals makes her a top pick on my list. Although they have only been around since 2005. She has established herself in the industry as one of the top female performers. Their first CD “Beautiful Tragedy” got them recognized and their latest CD “The Dream” continues to show why she is just awesome. I also happen to love the cover they did of Blondie’s “Call Me.”





Number 3



Liv Kristine – Another true beauty in the music industry, we are all fortunate to have her here. Lead for the band “Leaves Eyes,” Liv has been around for a while and is involved in many other endeavors (too many to list here). At age 33 she has done a bit of everything, but with her voice it’s no wonder. From solo to guest appearances her voice continues to impress every ear it fall on. Along with her stunning beauty it’s no wonder she is at the top of my list. Check out the new CD “Njord” and watch their vid for the single “My Destiny,” you won’t be disappointed.



Number 2

Alissa White-Gluz – Voted Revolver’s hottest woman in July of 2007. Alissa is a major force in the metalcore scene. This front woman from the Canadian band “The Agonist” leaves nothing on the table when she steps in front of the microphone. She can carry a note or knock you on your ass. The new CD “Lullabies for a Dormant Mind” will just blow you away. Also chack out the vid “Thank You, Pain” because this breath taking beauty delivers every time.






Number 1



Lita Ford – Yep, this is my top woman. For me, she is the one who started it all. There she was a great looking woman playing guitar as I watched the video “Kiss Me Deadly” on MTV. Screaming vocals attached to one hell of a sexy woman. As a young man I thought she was awesome. Now at age 51 she is still out kicking ass on the road in support of the new CD “Crave.” But it’s songs and video like “Close my Eyes Forever” with Ozzy that will stick in my memory and Oh! those Album covers. I’ve always felt she helped pave the way for other woman in the rock/metal scene and it’s why she gets my top honor.

Ok, that’s it. I know some people will have different opinions about who should be on the list or who shouldn’t, but this is MY list and these are the artist that I like not you. Sure there are other women you could place in the list. Maybe some of you readers like Amy Lee or Doro Pesch and those are great choices. My list is not saying one is better than the other; they are all great to me. This list to me is just the tip of the iceberg of the enormous talent out in the industry these days and I love every bit of it. So if your favorite woman did not make my list I’m sorry it’s not that she is not good but I just happen to enjoy these 10 more. Hope you enjoy my choices and I also hope you check out all of their music.

Geoffrey D.